Taking A Break

I have decided to... 

Source

...from all the craziness involved in trying to get pregnant.

We kinda felt like we were at a point where we either needed to start looking more seriously into other options like IVF or adoption, or we just needed to take a break from it all.  With summer coming up, we have lots of fun vacations planned.  So we thought taking the summer off from dealing with stressful fertility treatments is exactly what we needed.  That's not to say that we won't continue to try to get pregnant, but we will try not to make is our sole focus in life.  

I have to say, it's been pretty darn nice.  I've enjoyed lots of wine, used spray paint to my heart's desire, stopped peeing on ovulation tests every morning and taken a much-needed break from Clomid.  I hadn't really realized just how consumed I was with trying to get pregnant.  It plagued my every thought.  It controlled my every action.  It was exhausting.

I've been in this "taking a break" mindset for awhile now.  When I got my period this month, it was the first month since losing my baby that I didn't cry about it.  I don't know how exactly I managed to take so much of my focus off trying to get pregnant, but I'm very glad I managed to do so.  

Of course, I still have my moments.  Hearing about a co-worker's pregnancy or seeing a pregnancy announcement on Facebook still feels like a little stab in my heart.  But I am getting better at being happy for them and then moving on.  

For now, I plan to enjoy my upcoming summer!  I'm trying to live in the now and not waste my life worrying about the things I don't have.  Instead, I'm going to focus on things I do have.  And I'm a very lucky girl to have all that I do.