The NICU

Archer and Lyla spent 15 days in the NICU as grower-feeders.  Grower-feeders are babies that are in the NICU only to gain weight and learn how to eat.  Babies born prematurely often aren't born with the ability to latch properly, maintain a strong suck or have the energy to eat for extended periods of time.  

Our babies were in the NICU to work on learning how to eat, but also to be fed until my milk supply increased.  Since I had complications after delivery, it took longer than normal for my milk to come in and my supply to increase enough to feed two babies.  

Our babies were fortunate enough to receive donor breast milk while I was waiting for my milk supply to increase.  Moms who donate their milk are amazing!  I was so thankful that my babies got the benefits of breast milk so early on in their lives even though I wasn't able to provide it for them.

Both Archer and Lyla ended up with NG tubes.  NG tubes are tubes that go through their noses, past their throats and into their stomachs.  So they could be fed the donor breast milk without having to do the eating themselves.  It was a little scary to think about them needing to be hooked up with tubes, but it ultimately was the best thing for them.  Without them they wouldn't have been able to gain the weight necessary to stay healthy.  

In addition to the NG tubes, they also had leads on them to monitor their heart rates, pulse and oxygen intake.  When I was eventually able to go visit my babies in the NICU, it was hard to see them with so many tubes and wires.  When I held them I felt like I had to make sure I didn't interfere with all the stuff that was attached to them.  But a walk down the NICU hallway quickly made me realize just how lucky my babies were.  They didn't have to be in incubators or be hooked up to ventilators to help them breathe.  My babies were able to breathe on their own and be in open air bassinets.  There were some babies in there that were hard to even see because they had so many wires and tubes attached and were stuck inside incubators.    

I have a newfound respect for NICU nurses after our experience.  They were all so incredibly good at what they do.  They were kind and supportive; they were encouraging and accommodating.  We got to know a few of them really well and were so thankful for their expertise.  They worked 12 hour shifts, so we had day nurses and night nurses.  

Every 3 hours the babies would have care times.  Care times involved taking vitals, diaper changes and feedings.  Adam made it a priority to make it to as many care times as possible while I was still recovering.  By the time I was able to come to the NICU, I was in awe of how much Adam stepped up.  He became a pro at taking their temperatures, changing their diapers, hooking up and disconnecting their leads and swaddling them.  He would take off his shirt and do skin to skin with our sweet babies when I couldn't be there.  It makes me cry just thinking about how much he was there for our babies when I wasn't.  I remember feeling like I was way behind the curve when I finally made it to the NICU.  I was almost afraid to touch them because they seemed so fragile and it was hard to work around their tubes and wires.  But eventually I got more comfortable with them and was able to do more.  

It was a good thing I got more comfortable since Adam eventually had to go back to work.  He decided to take FMLA leave and work just 3 days a week through October.  So he would be around Thursday-Sunday.  He also spent each night in the NICU with me and the babies, crammed on the too-small couch.  
   

Once I was released from the hospital, I moved to the babies' NICU room.  I spent my days and nights with them until we all got to go home.  I sat and slept in a recliner that had all kinds of pillows situated just-so.  I was so sore from my c-section and was actually glad that I could sleep in a recliner instead of a bed.  But I got mighty tired of that recliner and certainly wasn't sad to see it go.

When Adam was at work, my sweet mom came to stay with me and the babies.  I can't begin to tell you how grateful I was to have her there.  It was such an incredibly difficult and emotional time.  Sometimes having your mom around is just what you need.  And I needed my mom.   

My days in the NICU were long and seemed to be on repeat.  Every 3 hours, I would try to breastfeed them before they got their donor breast milk via the NG tubes.  It was a struggle.  They both had trouble getting latched.  They would get frustrated, then I would get frustrated.  There were lots of tears- both theirs and mine.  Those hormones were no joke!  I think I spent half of my time crying.  After trying to nurse them, I would hold them while they got their donor milk.  Then I would pump to try to get my supply going.  Then I would try to get them back to sleep.  It got increasingly harder.  Plus it was difficult to have to get up from the recliner when they would cry.  I would have to find time in between their care times to take a shower or eat or sleep.  I would have to walk out of the NICU and eat in the lounge outside of the NICU.  It took so much energy to hobble to the lounge, sit in the most uncomfortable chairs ever made and eat before their next care time started.  

I really, really wanted to be able to breastfeed my babies.  But my milk took forever to come in.  The nurses and lactation consultants were all incredibly supportive and encouraging.  However, some of the doctors weren't all that hopeful that I would be able to breastfeed.  Each morning there would be rounds that included neonatologists, lactation consultants, physical therapists and more people whose titles I can't remember.  They would give a run down of how sick I was after delivery and that they were still waiting on my milk to come in.  It got to be really frustrating to hear how my milk was the thing that was holding my babies back from going home.  

And it seemed as though Adam and I got conflicting information from all the different doctors and nurses.  Adam and I wanted to do all we could to help our babies, but it was hard to do what we were told when we kept being told different things each day.  By day 13, Adam expressed this frustration.  I think it helped turn the tables.  A kind doctor who happened to have triplets herself suggested they start a formula supplement mixed with breast milk.  By this point, we were all for whatever would get us home, so we said we were on board.  My milk supply was finally increasing!  And the babies were gaining well.  In order to go home, we had to have two days of weight gains.  

So night 13 rolled around.  That night we had a nurse that wasn't our favorite.  She meant well, but we questioned her judgement.  She decided to give them baths before she weighed them.  Our babies weren't exactly fans of baths at this point, so they did a lot of screaming.  Screaming uses up calories and our babies ended up losing weight that night.  We were both devastated.  I did a lot of crying on Day 14.  

However, Night 14 turned out to be a game-changer for us.  The night nurse made me sleep. (Bless her!)  She had me "top off" the babies before we weighed them and kept them wrapped up in blankets to conserve calories.  They both gained that night!  

The following morning, the doctor gave us the option of being discharged that day, so long as we took the babies to the pediatrician the next morning to make sure they gained weight again that night.  Or we could stay one more night in the NICU to make sure they gained weight for the required two days straight.  The catch was that it was Friday and if they didn't gain that night, we'd be stuck in the NICU over the weekend.  

So we said we wanted to go home before they changed their minds!  I think the fact that we had stayed with the babies the whole time they were in the NICU helped.  They said they weren't worried about the kind of care they would be getting at home.

So we buckled our babies in their car seats and the NICU nurses brought them down to our car.  I'm not gonna lie, it was a little unsettling bringing them home with us.  It was nervewracking knowing that we couldn't just push the call button and have a nurse come help or answer a question.  It was now up to us to take care of our babies full time!   But we were so ready and even more ready to introduce Archer and Lyla to Jazzy!