These Are My Confessions: Toddler Mom Edition

Lyla and Archer are well into toddlerhood.  While they certainly had some sweet qualities as babies, I am loving this age so much more!  Their individual personalities are really coming out, they are starting to talk more, and they are just plain fun!

Back when they were babies, I confessed to some of my more nontraditional parenting methods.  So now that they're toddlers, I'm checking back in with more confessions:

• I fully support the ketchup loophole.  My kids are generally pretty good eaters.  They don't love everything, but they're pretty easy to please in the food department.  When my mom was visiting a little while back, she gave them some ketchup to dip french fries in.  They loved it!  I personally don't like ketchup, so I never thought to give them any.  (Plus, it's messy.)  But ketchup has opened up many more doors in the food department.  If they are being picky, I can now just ask if they want some ketchup to dip their carrots, pulled pork, etc., in.  The enthusiastic response I get is definitely a parenting win.  Who cares if they eat a bit of ketchup along with their broccoli?  Not this mom! 

• I've come to consider the floor of our house as one big plate.  I have no qualms about giving my kids food that has touched our floor.  And not just food that's been on the floor for less than five seconds.  Lyla pulled a teddy graham out of the couch cushion recently that had to have been months old.  I just let her eat it.  I asked her if it was crunchy and she just smiled.  (I might have even given Lyla an animal cracker that fell on the floor at Target because it was the last one and she was about to have a meltdown.  MIGHT have.)    

• I've come to accept judgement from other parents.  Let me give you an example.  We went to Adam's work picnic this past weekend and ate lunch there.  We ended up sitting across from a couple with a kiddo about Archer and Lyla's age.  We were chatting with them and in an attempt to make a connection with them, Adam asked if their kid's favorite word was "NO!" like Archer and Lyla's.  The wife said, "We don't even use the word, so he never says it."  She said this while Lyla was eating Cheetos dipped in ketchup as one of her healthy lunch sides.  I could practically feel the judgement coming from across the table.  Adam and I had a good laugh about this exchange later on. 

• Sometimes I'm jealous of moms who have one kid.  I feel super guilty admitting this, but sometimes it's true!  I feel like I spend the majority of my time with Archer and Lyla just making sure they don't die.  I'm constantly making sure they don't run into the street or scale the drawer handles up to the countertop to reach a knife or choke on a small rock they've stuck in their mouth.  It's hard to just get to enjoy them sometimes.  On the rare occasion I get to spend one on one time with them, it's so nice!  And don't get me started about when both Adam and I get to hang out with one kid.  We got to do this for the first time when we took Archer to get his hair cut while my parents watched Lyla.  We realized this was the first time in almost two years (!) that we spent time together with just one kid!  We couldn't get over how easy it was and how much fun it was!  Even Archer seemed to relish the sole attention of two parents at once!  Of course I wouldn't change a thing.  I am super grateful for Lyla and Archer!  And I know there are some moms out there who are jealous of my twins.  It just makes me realize how important it is to seek out time to spend with each kiddo individually.    

• I have no idea what my kids are supposed to be doing and learning at their age.  Before I had Archer and Lyla, I had every intention of reading lots of books detailing each stage of their development and researching the best kind of stimulating activities to do with them.   But then I had them and realized I would rather spend my free time sleeping or watching Netflix.  The few activities I've tried with them never seem to turn out.  They cry or eat the activity or make a huge mess.  And then I'm reminded why I would rather watch Netflix during their nap time instead of cutting up pipe cleaners.  My Parents As Teachers parent educator assures me they are doing very well, so that's good enough for me.  

• I probably give my kids far too much independence.  I know there are all sorts of parenting styles out there.  I'm a big believer in letting kids learn to problem-solve and do things on their own.  Plus, it's just more difficult to hover over two kids all the time.  So Lyla and Archer tend to get a little more freedom.  I let them play by themselves up in their rooms.  Their rooms have all the necessary child-proofing (outlet covers, furniture anchors, etc.)  And I can tell the difference between a "Archer just grabbed the book I was reading out of my hand" cry and a "I've been injured and need a kiss" cry.  So I kinda just let them be for parts of the day.  Otherwise, I'd never be able to take a shower.  I realize I'm really lucky that they have each other as playmates and it's definitely a perk of having twins.  I feel like this independence truly helps them learn to interact better with each other and grow their bond.  It's my favorite thing in the whole world when I hear them giggling together.        

So there you have it, these are my confessions.  Being a mom continues to be the most wonderful, overwhelming role I've ever had the pleasure of taking on.  I know I'm far from perfect.  I reflect on things I should have done differently daily.  I look at other moms and feel like I need to step up my game.  

Even though my doubts grow, so does my confidence.  I see proof that I'm doing something right, like when Lyla carries both water cups to the living room and hands one to Archer without me asking her to do so.  Or when Archer hands another kid at storytime some of his coveted blue blocks.  And the way both Archer and Lyla look at me when they say, "Mommy," is enough to let me know I'm doing just fine.