These Are My Confessions: Toddler Mom Edition

Lyla and Archer are well into toddlerhood.  While they certainly had some sweet qualities as babies, I am loving this age so much more!  Their individual personalities are really coming out, they are starting to talk more, and they are just plain fun!

Back when they were babies, I confessed to some of my more nontraditional parenting methods.  So now that they're toddlers, I'm checking back in with more confessions:

• I fully support the ketchup loophole.  My kids are generally pretty good eaters.  They don't love everything, but they're pretty easy to please in the food department.  When my mom was visiting a little while back, she gave them some ketchup to dip french fries in.  They loved it!  I personally don't like ketchup, so I never thought to give them any.  (Plus, it's messy.)  But ketchup has opened up many more doors in the food department.  If they are being picky, I can now just ask if they want some ketchup to dip their carrots, pulled pork, etc., in.  The enthusiastic response I get is definitely a parenting win.  Who cares if they eat a bit of ketchup along with their broccoli?  Not this mom! 

• I've come to consider the floor of our house as one big plate.  I have no qualms about giving my kids food that has touched our floor.  And not just food that's been on the floor for less than five seconds.  Lyla pulled a teddy graham out of the couch cushion recently that had to have been months old.  I just let her eat it.  I asked her if it was crunchy and she just smiled.  (I might have even given Lyla an animal cracker that fell on the floor at Target because it was the last one and she was about to have a meltdown.  MIGHT have.)    

• I've come to accept judgement from other parents.  Let me give you an example.  We went to Adam's work picnic this past weekend and ate lunch there.  We ended up sitting across from a couple with a kiddo about Archer and Lyla's age.  We were chatting with them and in an attempt to make a connection with them, Adam asked if their kid's favorite word was "NO!" like Archer and Lyla's.  The wife said, "We don't even use the word, so he never says it."  She said this while Lyla was eating Cheetos dipped in ketchup as one of her healthy lunch sides.  I could practically feel the judgement coming from across the table.  Adam and I had a good laugh about this exchange later on. 

• Sometimes I'm jealous of moms who have one kid.  I feel super guilty admitting this, but sometimes it's true!  I feel like I spend the majority of my time with Archer and Lyla just making sure they don't die.  I'm constantly making sure they don't run into the street or scale the drawer handles up to the countertop to reach a knife or choke on a small rock they've stuck in their mouth.  It's hard to just get to enjoy them sometimes.  On the rare occasion I get to spend one on one time with them, it's so nice!  And don't get me started about when both Adam and I get to hang out with one kid.  We got to do this for the first time when we took Archer to get his hair cut while my parents watched Lyla.  We realized this was the first time in almost two years (!) that we spent time together with just one kid!  We couldn't get over how easy it was and how much fun it was!  Even Archer seemed to relish the sole attention of two parents at once!  Of course I wouldn't change a thing.  I am super grateful for Lyla and Archer!  And I know there are some moms out there who are jealous of my twins.  It just makes me realize how important it is to seek out time to spend with each kiddo individually.    

• I have no idea what my kids are supposed to be doing and learning at their age.  Before I had Archer and Lyla, I had every intention of reading lots of books detailing each stage of their development and researching the best kind of stimulating activities to do with them.   But then I had them and realized I would rather spend my free time sleeping or watching Netflix.  The few activities I've tried with them never seem to turn out.  They cry or eat the activity or make a huge mess.  And then I'm reminded why I would rather watch Netflix during their nap time instead of cutting up pipe cleaners.  My Parents As Teachers parent educator assures me they are doing very well, so that's good enough for me.  

• I probably give my kids far too much independence.  I know there are all sorts of parenting styles out there.  I'm a big believer in letting kids learn to problem-solve and do things on their own.  Plus, it's just more difficult to hover over two kids all the time.  So Lyla and Archer tend to get a little more freedom.  I let them play by themselves up in their rooms.  Their rooms have all the necessary child-proofing (outlet covers, furniture anchors, etc.)  And I can tell the difference between a "Archer just grabbed the book I was reading out of my hand" cry and a "I've been injured and need a kiss" cry.  So I kinda just let them be for parts of the day.  Otherwise, I'd never be able to take a shower.  I realize I'm really lucky that they have each other as playmates and it's definitely a perk of having twins.  I feel like this independence truly helps them learn to interact better with each other and grow their bond.  It's my favorite thing in the whole world when I hear them giggling together.        

So there you have it, these are my confessions.  Being a mom continues to be the most wonderful, overwhelming role I've ever had the pleasure of taking on.  I know I'm far from perfect.  I reflect on things I should have done differently daily.  I look at other moms and feel like I need to step up my game.  

Even though my doubts grow, so does my confidence.  I see proof that I'm doing something right, like when Lyla carries both water cups to the living room and hands one to Archer without me asking her to do so.  Or when Archer hands another kid at storytime some of his coveted blue blocks.  And the way both Archer and Lyla look at me when they say, "Mommy," is enough to let me know I'm doing just fine.  

Thanks A Lot, Archer & Lyla!

Despite being close to two years old, Archer and Lyla are still doing a number on my body.  It's a good thing they're so cute!  The latest issue to arise deals with my foot.  

It all started when I woke up one morning to a sore foot.  The top of my left foot was pretty painful.  It felt like it was bruised, but there was no bruise.  I didn't think too much of it and figured it would go away.  Well, it got worse and soon I was hobbling around the neighborhood on our daily walks.  It was a good thing I had the stroller to lean on!  

I don't typically go to the doctor unless it's an absolute necessity.  Being able to walk with two toddlers constituted a necessity, so I made an appointment with a podiatrist.  I'd never been to a podiatrist before, so I wasn't really sure what to expect.  I did however repaint my toenails for the occasion.

When I got there, some x-rays were taken.  Then I sat in this chair that rose way up high with my legs out in front of me.  It was a bit strange being so high up, especially while I was all by myself in the room waiting for the doctor to show up.  I was beginning to wonder what I had gotten myself into.    

Eventually, the doctor showed up with my x-rays.  He said they all looked normal so he could rule out a stress fracture.  After examining my foot and talking about my health history, he came to the conclusion Archer and Lyla were to blame.  Apparently, some pregnancy hormones cause the ligaments in your feet to stretch and lengthen.  These stretched out ligaments can cause your arches to fall and your foot to lengthen.  I guess this is why some women end up needing a bigger shoe size after pregnancy. 

I did notice my left tennis shoe feeling more snug than usual.  I had bought some tennis shoes in a bigger size before my appointment to see if that would help with my foot pain.  Sadly, it did not.  

The doctor told me to remedy the pain I was feeling in my foot, I would need to wear shoes with arch support from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep.  He also put me on some anti-inflammatory medication, assigned me some stretches to do, and sent me home with some arch supports to put in my shoes.  

I was not a happy camper when I left the office.  I was upset about having to wear shoes all the time.  I know this sounds a bit ridiculous on my part, but I really hate wearing shoes.  And when I do wear shoes, I like to wear cute shoes that don't necessarily offer the best arch support.  

But I did try to follow the doctor's instructions.  I put on my tennis shoes in the morning and tried to wear them all day.  I might have stepped on the kids' toes a few times and it made me really hot to keep shoes on all day!  I even wore them while relaxing on the hammock during nap time with Jazzy.  Who wears shoes while relaxing in hammocks?!  

As much as it pains me to admit it, wearing my shoes with the arch supports did make my feet feel a lot better.  I only feel a small twinge every once in awhile now.  But I couldn't imagine wearing socks and tennis shoes all day long in July when it's 90 degrees.  So I decided to go buy some sandals with arch support.  

While my mom was watching Lyla and Archer, I went to DSW in search of some new shoes.  When I got there, I looked for the aisle with little old ladies in it.  Let me tell you, there are some ugly orthopedic shoes out there.  

It was incredibly depressing.  I feel like I've had a pretty positive attitude about all the changes my body has been through thanks to my pregnancy.  I've embraced my stretch marks and saggy boobs.  I've accepted the hair loss and random pains I still feel from my c-section.  But trying on ugly orthopedic shoes in DSW that day was a blow to my ego.  It's not like I'm 90!  I'm only 33 and I felt like I should still be able to wear cute shoes!  

After trying on too many ugly shoes, with little old ladies wearing hose and trying on nude sandals with velcro next to me, I did manage to find some that weren't horribly ugly.  The brand Vionic had some decent-looking choices and had the best arch support.  As much as I hated to admit it, they sure did feel comfortable.  While the two pairs I ended up buying would never have been my first choice based on looks, they don't scream "I'M A PAIR OF ORTHOPEDIC SANDALS!!!!!" 

I realize in the big scheme of things, this is a very minor issue.  I still have feet that are able to walk and carry my sweet toddlers around.  There are far worse things women have to deal with as a result of pregnancy and delivery.  And Archer and Lyla are well worth this minor problem.  I would endure anything to be able to hug and kiss them.  But it doesn't mean I won't mourn not being able to wear my cute shoes again. 

One Way to Keep Me From Losing My Mind

This simple little project came about just this morning.  You see, I might be losing my mind a little bit.  There are countless examples.  (Locking my keys in the car recently is one.)  But last night I had another moment.  As I was getting dinner ready, I was wondering why Adam wasn't home yet.  We eat dinner at promptly 5:30 each evening or else Archer and Lyla go ballistic.  They are often screaming at me to hurry up while I'm making dinner, so eating late isn't really an option.  But Adam wasn't home at 5:30 so we started dinner without him.  He usually calls if he's going to be late, but I hadn't gotten a call yet.  So then I tried to wrack my brain and recall if he'd told me he was going to be late.  I couldn't remember.  When he finally got home, he reminded me he was getting a massage and I did vaguely recall him telling me that earlier in the week.

So I decided I needed to have a better system for remembering what's going on in my life.  I find myself having to hold lots of random information in my working memory these days. (...which kid has pooped, when I last let Jazzy outside, which days we're going to storytime, what time we're meeting up for a playdate, etc.)  Adam suggested sharing his Google calendar with me.  Now, this may make me seem like an old lady, but I just can't wrap my head around an electronic calendar.  I suffered through using online calendars the last few years I taught and it worked out because I had a computer handy throughout most of the day.  But now I mainly look at my phone and it's just too small for me to be able to look at a monthly view.  I guess I'm just old fashioned and need a paper calendar.

But I needed something even more intentional to help me keep track of what's going on.  So I decided to get a large, dry erase calendar to hang up in our eat-in kitchen area.  The kids and I headed off to Micheal's in search of the perfect piece.  I definitely felt like a mom picking this up from Michael's today.  They had a few to choose from, but I like this one for its simplicity.  Plus, I thought the black would tie in with the other black features in our newly remodeled kitchen, like the cabinet hardware and the faucet.  I also picked up some fine line dry erase markers.  Luckily, the calendar was on sale for 50% off and I used a coupon on the markers.

After wrangling the large calendar and two toddlers through Michael's and back to the car, we headed home to hang it up.  We had a big open space right by our stairs that would be the perfect home for the new calendar.  Some hooks that housed our keys and Jazzy's leash used to hang in that spot.  But after painting the walls, we moved those hooks closer to the door leading to the garage.  We hung them higher there so the kids wouldn't mess with them.  Moving the hooks left a nice opening for the new calendar to hang.

In between serving snacks and kissing boo boos, I was able to get the calendar hung.  Adam would be very proud of me.  I used a level and tape measure to make sure it was hung just so.  I made sure to hang it high enough that Archer and Lyla can't reach it (yet), but also low enough so I can easily write on it.  It's pretty light, so I just used some nails.  I also added some sticky putty to the corners to help keep it from moving around as I write on it.  (This stuff comes in very handy!  I also use it to keep picture frames hanging straight.)

The calendar fills the space perfectly and is right in the heart of our home.  So now I can easily glance at it to see what's going on each day.  I plan to check in with Adam each Sunday to make sure I have everything jotted down for the week.  

And this will be super useful once Lyla and Archer start getting into different activities.  It's definitely not anything new or revolutionary, but it will certainly help this mom brain of mine better keep track of what's happening.  The trick will be remembering to write things down...