Goodbye, Sweet Jazzy

I said goodbye to my sweet Jazzy on October 2nd and there's been a gaping hole in my heart ever since then.  There will always be a spot for Jazzy reserved in my heart.  

She was a rescue dog.  Yes, Adam and I adopted her from a little shelter in the middle of Kansas, but Jazzy is the one who truly rescued me.  I was still drowning in the sorrow of losing my first baby and the infertility that came afterwards when Jazzy entered our lives.  Adam and I both desperately wanted a baby, but a human baby wasn't yet in the cards for us.  So Jazzy became our baby.  

While I don't quite understand why things work out the way they do, I do believe there's something bigger than us.  The universe somehow brought Jazzy into our lives.  I knew she was meant to be ours when I saw her picture online.  Adam wasn't convinced until we visited her in person.  As soon as we arrived at the shelter "just to look" at her, she trotted right up to Adam and gave him a big ol' kiss.  Needless to say, we brought her home with us.  

And she was perfect for us.  She was just what I needed.  Looking back, I was severely depressed and really should have gotten some professional therapy.  But my therapy came in the form of Jazzy.  I started taking her for daily walks, which meant exercise for me.  She kept me company during a very lonely time.  She helped me to focus on the joys in my life instead of just the pain.  She helped me to welcome hope back into my life.  I just cannot fully express what she did for me.  She somehow knew when I needed extra snuggles or when I needed some comic relief.  Staring into her soulful little eyes helped me heal.  

Jazzy was such a good girl.  She was eager to learn new tricks and to please us.  She took it upon herself to be our guard dog and protector.  She rarely barked, but did alert us if someone she wasn't familiar with came to our door or if another dog dared to come too close to us.  She adored walks and her excitement for them was contagious.  She was happy to walk around our neighborhood and loved the new smells trails offered her.  

While Jazzy wasn't particularly close with Archer and Lyla, she knew her job was to protect them and she took it very seriously.  She always greeted us when we came home from somewhere and wouldn't head back to her perch on the back of the couch until both kids were in the house.  She put up with their incessant noise and activity in exchange for treats and bits of dropped food.  She never showed any jealousy towards the kids, despite them taking over most of our attention.  She was just as content to get a quick head scratch in passing.    

She was such a good girl.  The best girl.  

Less than a year ago, Jazzy was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  She had always had a pretty prominent heart murmur, so we knew that congestive heart failure might be in her future.  We started her on medications and she responded really well to them for quite awhile.  Eventually, she maxed out on her medications and we knew it was time to start making plans so that her final days could be as comfortable as possible.  I read a lot about how to determine when the time was right to help your pet end their life.  Of course it's a gray area and ultimately you know your own pet best, but I read many accounts of people wishing they had made the decision earlier to eliminate suffering.  Armed with that knowledge, we were able to make the difficult decision before Jazzy had to suffer for very long.

Adam came across an organization called Lap of Love.  Lap of Love is a network of veterinarians all across the United States who offer in-home end-of-life care for pets.  Once we knew it was time to end Jazzy's suffering, we contacted our local Lap of Love branch.  Every person we spoke with was so thoughtful and helped us feel like we were making the right decision.  The veterinarian who came to our home was so incredibly kind.  I hope no one needs this service any time soon, but keep this organization in the back of your mind.  Allowing Jazzy to pass peacefully in her own home where she felt most comfortable felt like such a gift for her and for us. 

We made sure to give her the best day before her appointment.  We took her to a trail, brought her dog bed outside in the driveway so she could enjoy the fresh air and got her a puppy scoop from our local ice cream shop.  After a bittersweet final walk around our neighborhood, it was time for the veterinarian to arrive.  Dr. Emily was so sweet to Jazzy and brought her lots of treats to enjoy.  I wasn't really sure what to expect, but the whole experience was very calm and peaceful.  Adam wrote and read Jazzy a letter which had all of us (Dr. Emily included) in tears.  As sad as it was, there sure was a lot of love in the room. 

Here's Adam's sweet letter: 

Dear Jazzy,  

When Sara and I left our house on December 13, 2014, with the intention of “just looking” I had no  idea I’d be finding my very best friend. The moment we saw one another, you trotted across that dog  haired matted couch we sat on at the shelter and gave me a nice kiss right on the face. I knew Sara was  hooked from that moment (I was too), my only reservations were how much hair you left all over me  after sitting in my lap for such a short time (you were just nervous).  

We’re so glad you took a chance on us; we are so lucky to have spent the last nearly 7 years of our lives  with you. You helped us both out of the darkness of unexpectedly losing our first unborn daughter. And  later the unexpected death of our friend Tim. You were there to graciously greet your newborn brother and sister four years ago, even if it meant stepping out of the primary spotlight. Please know that you’ll  always be our first baby.  

We will miss your unconditional love and affection. Your excitement of when one of us has come home  from the office or even a short errand. We will miss your excitement every time we pull your leash  down for your next adventure. I will miss our late-night outings and runs. I will miss walking and  running you while pushing your siblings in every kind of buggy imaginable the last 4 years, no matter  how tricky that might be. I will miss your unwavering interest in the outdoor hikes we’ve taken around  here. Thank you for exploring with us. I will miss you snuggling with Sara and I and despite your size  somehow taking over the queen size bed.  

There’s so much more we wish we had time to do and so much I regret not finding time to do so. But I  realize that no one can divide their time enough, you just do the best you can. The regret / guilt we might feel just means we care for you so much.  

You’ve done so much to help heal, serve and protect this family. You’ve given so much to everyone  you’ve known (even cleaning up a dead mouse in my Dad’s basement yesterday). As gut-wrenching as it  may be, it’s time for us to return the favor and help you along as peacefully as we can.  

We love you so much and if there is a heaven, I know you’ll be there waiting for us. So, till we meet again my friend.  

Love you always and forever,  

Adam and Sara

I miss Jazzy so much.  Our house feels so empty without her presence.  She wove herself so tightly into our lives and there are so many times I find myself still thinking about her.  I miss her little snores that would wake me up in the middle of the night and the way she would scoot her little body right next to mine in bed.  (The bed Adam and I said she would never sleep in.)  I miss the way she always seemed to know when I took out a pair of socks from my drawer and thought it was time for a walk.  I miss her laying in the sunshine in our yard.  I miss her toenails prancing along our floors.  I miss her crunching her dog food.  I miss her excitement when I opened up the bag of her favorite treat.  I miss her warm greetings whenever I came home.  I miss her rolling around on her back when she thought she needed some attention.  I miss her help in cleaning up all the crumbs under our kitchen table.  

I know eventually thinking about Jazzy will bring smiles instead of tears.  I am so lucky to have had her in my life.  Goodbye, Sweet Jazzy.  

Old Porch Posts + Old Deck Spindles

We've been on a bit of a table kick around here.  Not too long ago, Adam refinished a table for our kitchen.  Most recently, he used up our old porch posts and old deck spindles to create a gorgeous new table for our deck.  With the exception of a few cedar boards for the center of the table top and the bench slats, Adam created a whole dining set using repurposed lumber!  All of the old lumber would have just been hauled off to the landfill, but with Adam's hard work and skill, we now have the perfect addition to our deck.  

Allow me to go back to the beginning of the project and give an extremely simplified description of all the work Adam did.  There were too many steps for me to keep track of and I definitely didn't do the best job of photographing all the steps.  (In all fairness, I was wrangling Archer and Lyla so Adam could work on it.)  

In the midst of the pandemic, Adam was searching for projects to do that would keep him busy, but the high cost of lumber limited what he was willing to tackle.  Luckily, he had a pretty good stockpile of random lumber.  Adam had thought to save the old front porch posts from when we replaced them with new cedar columns.  He also saved all the spindles from the deck when we replaced them with cable rails.  This lumber had been sitting in our shed, awaiting the perfect project.  

After tackling the deck, we decided we needed a bigger table with more character and more seating.  So Adam got to work designing a new table and some benches using the lumber we already had on hand.  After he had his design, the next step was to plane all the spindles.  He took these worn out spindles for a trip through his planer... 

...and brought them back to life!  

He then laminated the spindles together to form planks for the table top.  This step took lots of patience.  After spindles were laminated into planks, he sent the planks through the planer again to get everything smooth.  He did have to supplement one cedar plank down the center of the table top since there weren't enough spindles to make the entire tabletop.

The base of the table came next!  He used leftover lumber and our old front porch posts to build the base.  Since the porch posts were already painted white, Adam decided to keep the base white.  Stripping and sanding off the paint would have been quite the job with all those nooks and crannies!  

The white base adds a bit of contrast and also ties in with the white railing posts.  

Adam had plenty of leftover planed lumber to build the bench bases.  Since those were nicely planed, he decided to stain those the same color as the table top.  He did have to grab a few more cedar boards to create the bench seats.  

Finding the perfect color to stain the table top and benches was quite the feat!  We wanted something to contrast the dark color of our deck, but still complement it.  After looking at several samples, we settled on a stain that turned out to be way too orange in person.  Ultimately, Adam decided to use Osmo Decking Oil in the color Thermowood.  It's the same product we used on our deck and have been very impressed with how well it's held up!  

Since we wanted to optimize seating, we decided to add two additional chairs to each end of the table.  Adam's mom was able to use our old patio table and chairs, so we opted to buy some chairs with a smaller footprint.  We also wanted to ditch the chairs with cushions since they would get wet when it rained, despite our covered deck.  The benches can seat 3 adults comfortably and 4 in a pinch.  So we can now seat up to 12 people!  We have already eaten many meals at the new table and enjoy spending time sitting around it.  

(At least Adam will look at me when I trying to take a picture these days...)

Our new dining set is the perfect addition to our outdoor living area!  It fits the space nicely, without taking up too much room.  There's still plenty of room to play and grill up dinner.  

I love that Adam built it.  I love that he saved materials from the landfill.  I love that it brings our family even closer together.    

Not Bad For A Pair Of Old Jeans

It's always a sad day when your favorite pair of jeans decide to give up on you.  I'm someone who finds a pair of jeans that I like and then I wear them every day until they start to fall apart.  When my latest pair of jeans decided to rip, I was about ready to find somewhere to recycle them.  But then I stopped and asked myself if I could use them for something else.  

I briefly looked at Pinterest for some inspiration and saw lots of clever ideas out there.  One idea that caught my eye was a tool belt.  Archer would love a tool belt!  I just cut around the waistband and back pockets.  The original waistband was obviously too big, so I trimmed off the excess and just cut a new button hole.  I didn't worry about finishing off the edges or anything.  

It was a hit with Archer!  He was so excited and couldn't get his tools in there fast enough.  He's worn it all morning and wouldn't take it off for rest time.  Not bad for a pair of old jeans!  

Of course I couldn't leave Lyla out.  I decided she would adore a purse, so I got to work piecing together the rest of my old jeans.  I didn't follow a tutorial or pattern; I just kept sewing random things together.  I used the denim from the legs to make the bulk of the purse and sewed on the little coin pocket to the front.  I braided some long strips together to make the handles.  Then I used some scraps of denim to make some cute flowers using this technique.      

While it's far from perfect and a little wonky, Lyla was delighted by it!  She told me it would be the perfect way to carry her night night (the blanket she sleeps with) so it wouldn't drag on the ground.  

Finally, I wanted to find something to do with all the leftover seams.  This idea caught my eye and I thought it would be perfect to use as a hot pad for hot pots and pans on the counter.  I only ended up with enough seams to make a coaster, but it still turned out pretty cute!  

Creating some new items for my kids was the perfect use of this rainy day!  And it was the perfect use of a pair of old jeans!  I really do enjoy doing crafts and putting my creativity to the test.  Doing these projects reminded me I need to make more time to do stuff like this.  It's important for Archer and Lyla to not only see me doing things I love, but to also model how to use our old items in new ways.   

I was also able to find another pair of my beloved jeans on Poshmark!  Poshmark is an online marketplace for secondhand items.  I found another pair of my exact jeans that had only been worn once and cost a fraction of what they would if I were to have bought them new!  Not too shabby.