These Are My Confessions: Threenager Edition

I'm back with more confessions!  As the mom to two feisty three-year-olds, my parenting skills are tested daily.  I adore so many things about this age!  I can have some pretty in depth conversations with Archer and Lyla now.  They aren't shy about telling me how much they love me.  And I love watching their unique personalities develop.  But good grief do they know how to test my patience!  The speed at which they can switch from being happy-go-lucky to supremely pissed off makes my head spin.  So allow me to share some of my most recent confessions: 

I don't understand how they manage to always have their shoes on the wrong feet given the 50/50 shot they have of getting them on the correct feet.  I try to tell them to switch them around, but sometimes I just don't care.  If they wish to walk around with their feet feeling all funny, then who am I to judge?  This is not unique to shoes.  For instance, Archer and Lyla just checked the mail with me.  While they ran ahead of me, I noticed that Archer's pants and shirt were inside out and I'm pretty sure his underwear were on backwards.  And Lyla's shirt was on backwards too.  

Speaking of clothing, I've been known to ruin Lyla's whole day by picking out the wrong shirt for her to wear.  Sometimes if I just lay out an outfit, she'll put in on without complaint.  But heaven help me if I verbally ask if she'd like to wear a particular shirt.  Geez!  

I tell the kids how important it is to be honest and tell mommy when something happens.  But also, sometimes the grocery store inexplicably runs out of ingredients for cookies.  

 

I often wonder how my children can find a tiny green marble in an I Spy book, yet be completely oblivious to the socks directly in front of them when I'm asking them to put on their socks and shoes. 

I'm impressed with Archer and Lyla's willingness to own up to their behavior at this stage.  "Archer, why did you flip your mattress over?"  "I did."  "Lyla, why did you get water all over the living room carpet?"  "I did."  "Archer, why did you push your sister over?"  "I did."  I'm looking forward to hearing what reasons they come up with for their behavior in the future.    

I don't understand how they can make a mess out of anything.   A tiny nubbin of chalk can end up all over their outfit and face and hands.  One tiny insignificant puddle can result in an outfit change.

I've considered writing a parenting book.  I plan to have people ask me questions about their kids for me to answer.  Except my answer for every question will be, "It depends on the kid."  

When we were working on potty training, I bribed/positively-reinforced Lyla and Archer with candy when they went poop in the potty.  They still get candy every time they go poop.  I'm afraid of what will happen when I stop giving them candy. 

Apparently I say the following things on a regular basis, "Ope!"  "Whoopsy!"  "It's good to share."  "Maybe tomorrow."  

My neighbors probably think my children are insane with the amount of screaming that goes on while we're playing outside.  Luckily it's generally not me screaming.  Not usually.  

It takes so much freaking patience to let them do things by themselves!  I try really hard to let them be as independent as possible, but sometimes it makes me want to pull out all my hair.

I usually turn into a crazy person when I'm trying to take a picture these days.  My ornery children will not look at me when I'm trying to take their picture!  So I usually end up yelling, "Look at Mommy!  Please just for one second?"  And then I'll try to make a funny face or dance some sort of jig without making the camera wobble.  Yep, I'm sure I look ridiculous.  But I do have 1,347 pictures like the one below if anyone wants to see them.  

Archer and Lyla have these kitten Beanie Babies that they love.  They like to pretend they are the kittens and talk in the the most obnoxiously annoying high-pitched voices, because apparently that's how kittens would sound if they could speak.  They were driving me bonkers!  So I might have told Adam to hide the kittens while I distracted Lyla and Archer.  Then when they asked me where their kittens were, I might have said, "I don't know where you put your kittens."  *See previous confession about honesty.  

I have a new appreciation for pockets.  I don't think I ever used pockets before I had kids.  I didn't really even like to put my cell phone in my pocket.  But we recently went on a walk while I was wearing jeans and a jacket.  I had my keys, dog bones and two snack cups crammed in my jacket pockets.  And my jeans pockets featured my phone and wadded up toilet paper.  But my hands were free!  

My kids know me too well.  They know I'll always pick them up or snuggle if they ask.  Sometimes they will ask me to pick them up or they'll snuggle up in my lap only because they need a tissue and will proceed to wipe their nose the length of my arm.  

Sometimes my kids drive me so crazy that I don't speak to them as kindly as I should.  Then one of them will say, "Maybe you will feel better if I give you a kiss?"  And then my heart melts and I feel horribly guilty.  And they are completely right.  I do feel better after they give me a kiss.