House Arrest

So "house arrest" might be a bit too dramatic for this post title, but it is somewhat fitting.  After learning that my cervix was shortening from my specialist, my ob decided that I should do everything in my power to keep these babies in my belly for as long as possible.  So she surprised me by saying I couldn't go back to work.  She wanted me to take it easy and eliminate as much stress from my life as possible.  I was shocked and was not expecting her to say this at our appointment.  

Things got very real at that moment.  To be honest, it scared me.  It scared me more than the previous day's appointment with the specialist.  It made me feel like she knew something my specialist didn't know and she seemed way more concerned about me going into preterm labor.  

And I wasn't ready to give up my job and especially not without saying goodbye to my students.  Thinking about all the things I still wanted to/needed to accomplish before the end of the school year started to stress me out.  I still needed to do end of the year reading assessments for most of my kids.  I needed to do progress reports.  I needed to clear out my room.  I needed to make summer reading suggestion videos and bookmarks for the kids.  I started to mentally look through my to do list and felt like it was too important to just ignore.  

I walked out of the office in tears.  I was scared for my babies and I was upset about not being able to go back to work.  I called my principal that night and managed to tell him the news without crying.  Of course he was incredibly understanding and told me not to worry about anything on the school side of things.  Needless to say, it was hard to sleep that night.  

I spent the next day trying to wrap my head around my new reality.  I realized it wasn't all that bad.  I reminded myself that all my students had moms and that I needed to be a mom to my own babies right now.  I knew my students, their parents and my fellow teachers would all understand.  

I emailed the staff at my school and was so touched by everyone's kind words and well wishes.  I asked another teacher to get a letter to each of my students explaining what was going on.  Several of my kiddos emailed me, letting me know how much they would miss me.  (I might have cried reading those.)  And I asked one of our secretaries to mail home letters to my students' parents.  Many of the parents responded with messages of understanding and thanks for what I'd done for their kids.  I was so overwhelmed with everyone's kindness and caring.  I cried some more, but happy tears this time.  

I should clarify that I am not on bed rest.  My doctor still wants me to walk around my house and do light housework.  I can do laundry, I can walk Jazzy for a short distance, I can go up and down the stairs.  I can even go on short shopping trips to the grocery store.  She just wants me to take it easy.  She felt that me being at home would encourage me to take better care of myself and the babies.  I can eat when I'm hungry.  I can take naps when I'm tired.  I can lay down if I'm uncomfortable.  

And it has been nice to be able to do all those things.  Jazzy has certainly been enjoying the extra time we get to spend together.  We sleep in each morning and hang out together all day.           

This has also helped me realize that once our babies are with us, I'm going to have to be more flexible. Things aren't always going to go my way.  But I'm super happy that our lives are going to change in this way!  I very excited to meet my new little ones...but I can wait until they are full grown before they make their appearance!