Wait For Me!

That would be an alcoholic beverage, which means I did not get pregnant this month.  Trying to get pregnant continues to be frustrating and all-consuming.  But at least I can have a drink as I wallow in my misery.  

It makes it even more frustrating that many of my friends are now pregnant with their second babies.  I feel like I'm running after them screaming, "Wait for me!"  I feel like life is passing me by in some ways.  

When I envisioned my life, I envisioned having kids before I was 30.  That's not going to happen.  I envisioned being pregnant at the same time as my friends so we could experience that time together.  I wanted my kids to have playmates the same age as them.  I didn't want to be the old parent at my kids' parent-teacher conferences.  

I always thought that my kids would get to meet and spend time with my own grandparents.  I'm worried that might not happen.

While I know 29 is far from being old, it does stress me out to think that I don't have kids yet.  I've had to readjust my expectations.  I used to say I would have two, maybe even three kids.  Now I will just be happy if I'm lucky enough to have one.  

Have I depressed you yet?  

In an attempt to turn this blog post around, I have thought of some positive things about having babies later in life.  Adam and I have an established home with lots of space for kids.  We have careers and are not struggling financially.  I think Adam and I are more sure of ourselves and the kind of parents we want to be.  We are both more than ready to be parents at this point.  I think we will truly appreciate and relish every moment of parenthood when we get the chance to experience it.  

And we've had good practice being Jazzy's parents.  :)