Advice to Infertile Couples

While I'm obviously not a doctor, I do have experience with infertility.  I think this pretty much makes me an expert.  So I will share my expert advice about what's helped Adam and I muddle through this challenging time of our lives.

1.  Drink alcohol.

I am not suggesting you become an alcoholic.  I am merely suggesting that you don't have to stop partaking in the things that make you happy even though they are not necessarily healthy.  Whether that's drinking or eating McDonald's or riding roller coasters.  I spent a long time avoiding things that would be frowned upon if I happened to be pregnant, just in case.  Each month that I found out I wasn't pregnant made it even more difficult to take because I felt like I had given up a bunch of fun stuff throughout the month, all for nothing.  While I still constantly think about and hope that I'm pregnant, I've gotten a lot better about doing what makes me happy.

2.  Plan vacations.

It really does help to have something to look forward to and vacations are one thing Adam and I love.  Before we got married and started thinking about having kids, Adam and I did lots of traveling.  We always had a blast and part of the fun was planning the trips.  It's nice to have something to think about besides trying to get pregnant.  So plan a trip, even if it's a small weekend getaway or a stay-cation.    

3.  Talk about it. 

It's hard to talk about infertility.  Both Adam and I have felt guilty. Sometimes we're frustrated that the other person doesn't feel the same way. We don't want to upset the other person by bringing it up.  But, who better to talk to than the person who's in it with you?  No one will understand better than your spouse.  Our marriage is so much stronger now, having been through all we've been through together.  Don't be afraid to talk to each other.    

4.  Get a dog.

Adam and I talked about getting a dog when we eventually had kids.  We thought it would work out because I would be a stay at home mom and the dog wouldn't have to be in the house all day.  Our kids could be a part of the process of picking out a dog and naming it.  Then we asked ourselves: Why are we waiting?  We both want a dog.  We both knew we would love having a dog.  We knew a dog would love us.  So we went for it and ended up with Jazzy.  It was the best decision we ever made.  She has helped fill the hole in our hearts.  

After we got Jazzy, Adam told me something funny his infertility specialist told him.  He told Adam that kids are great and all, but eventually they'll grow up and won't want to spend time with you.  His advice?  Get a dog. They'll love you forever.  Wise man.